frailyn :)

I just love my profile picture because I had my name on it. hahaha Please do not read. This is just... I don't know. I just want to write about my name. Because I just realized, I love my name. I really do. Now. :)

At home, I'm known as Ayeth. Nobody calls me Frailyn. I've always identified myself as Ayeth. They have always identified me as Ayeth. Even when I got to kindergarten, and then elementary, and highschool. I was never Frailyn.

When I got to college. My old friends called me Ayeth. Of course. Some called me Frai. Honestly, if somebody calls me Frailyn I wouldn't turn my head because I haven't recognized myself in it. Like, it's not a part of me. Then most of them called me Muse when I became muse in the class (by default--because everybody declined and would kill if they were chosen and I was too shy to even speak out I didn't want it either). And teachers call me Miss Macul. And a guy from BSEE (I forgot his name but I could remember his face, clearly) called me Prelim. Nice. He murdered my name. It's not his fault though. But I then realized I didn't like my name that much. Because ever since, they would have to ask me how to pronounce my name. It was a lot of times and I feel ashamed everytime I'm asked about my name. I often wished my name wasn't that difficult to pronounce. I felt like I'm some kind of alien sometimes. Because it's just different. I haven't met anyone (personally) with the same name. So if anyone asks my name I'd say, Ayeth na lang. hehe

And when I was in Denmark and now in Norway, they called me Frailyn. Everyone calls me Frailyn. My nickname sounded strange to them. And as time went by, it sounded strange to me too. How come my nickname was so far from my real name? Here's a short story: There was this cute baby with full of curls and big eyes and plump face and her mom called her Frailyn. Because her elder sister was named Fragile. So her name was derived from the word 'frail', synonym of 'fragile'. They gave her 'Ailyn' as her nickname. But just like the name, she's weak. And she's always sick. So they thought of changing the nickname. Because 'Ailyn' sounded 'illy'. So they had to buy the name and changed it into Ayeth. And the baby became well. And she lived waiting for the 'ever after'. The End. Don't ask me how they used to buy name that time, I'm also confused. :D

It's not really a big deal. But I just came to a realization that I really love my name. My real name. Ayeth is a part of me, always. All of the best days of my life I lived as Ayeth. And I am glad of that. And now that I am living the Frailyn part... I am happy still. Happy that I can recognize myself in that name. Happy that it's now a part of me.

Life is really... how do I say it? Awesome. Amazing. Wonderful. Everything has it's own time and season. And my name is just one of the few, not-so-important-almost-absurd-but-acceptable example.

I'm just happy, that's it. And it isn't just because of my name but because I've come to identify the person behind that name. If I consider my name as a vessel, some of you knew the outside part of it while I mostly know the inside part. It's half-empty and half-full. The fullness, I consider an achievement, the emptiness, I consider as a gift waiting to be realized. It doesn't really matter what people know of me (sometimes it does haha). What matters most is what I know of me. Because it's gonna be  what I'd present to the One who made me at the end of time. :)

I love Frailyn :) (vanity?) hahaha