It's Beginning to Feel Like Christmas

Today, my landlady invited me to spend noche buena with them. I wasn't ready for that. Well, I knew it was impossible for me to go home because of the pandemic but I never really thought of how I would spend Christmas. And now that I am thinking about it, it makes me really sad. Like, really sad. 

Cheers to all of us who won't be able to spend Christmas with our families. We are the brave souls of the universe. 😁 

I am not really into social gatherings. I am socially inept. Those who knew me understand me (like they have a choice). But I always summon my courage during Christmas because it is the only time of the year I am willing to fight against myself and try to be with people. I always try so hard to be at ease because the people around me are happy and loving people. We belong to a large family. I mean, my mother has eight siblings and my father has seven. And Christmas is always a time for reunion. And I am not required to speak to all of them but at least I should respond like normal people do. And I should get out of my head once in a while when I feel my sweat dripping when I don't understand the conversation and became aware of my own breathing. This year, I may not try so hard at all. And it saddens me. 

So much more for a chilly morning, I didn't want to spread sadness. So I am looking forward to that very day I'm able to get home and see my family face to face. Then we'll spend Christmas no matter what day of year that would be.

Cheers to all brave souls. 😉