what's next?

I'm somewhere in between... and I know I need to take that one step that will lead me to the fulfilment of my existence.

I actually am in a crossroad right now. And I knew I've been here before. And If I again choose the wrong road,  I'll face another crossroad again... much more crossroads perhaps.

Sometimes it frustrates me... not knowing where to go... But then... hey, I've been here before. I need to choose what is right. I need to choose the road He has set down before me.

It is not easy... but who said it will be? Sometimes I even feel unworthy... because my passion is somewhat different from my purpose.

But I believe everything happens for a reason. Every little thing, even insignificant event has something to do with what God has planned for me. And I am quite delusional right now because I could not figure out how two ultimately different things could be put together. My mind could conclude... as well as my heart. But what about my soul?

(deep sigh)

I'll search for myself... and I knew that if I need to know me I have to know first the One who made me.

Then I'll know...

Then I'll understand...

Then... I'll live.