for my dearest Ate Geegile on her birthday :)
FRAGILE - easily broken, damaged or destroyed; vulnerably delicate; lacking substance or significance.
Seriously, my sister shouldn't had been named Fragile. Simply because she is the exact opposite of the meaning of the word. I know, Mama would agree (and everyone who knows her). But she was named so because Mama always see the word while she was pregnant with. That is why. But she isn't so fragile.
First, she is tough. One of the toughest person I've known (which made me realize she is more like my father). So, she isn't the one who's easily broken, damaged or destroyed. She has a strong personality, like a strong pillar we could lean on to. She always stood up for what she believes in. And yes, if she has to yell, she will. She will scream at the top of her lungs just so you could get her point. If she isn't happy, she tells it in your face. She isn't the one who hides her feelings because once that she tried, she exploded... and you never ever ever want to see her explode. She is always confident. When we were yet young, she was the one who knew already what she wanted. When it comes to dresses, bags or shoes, she knew what she liked. Though she never demanded for anything. She is definite in her opinions. I think she was the only one who could face Papa with valid and convincing reasons. When Papa gets mad, she was the only one who could face Papa's anger (while we all hide hehe). And I think it is a good thing. I mean, I think she is one of the greatest factor that made me face my fears. I mean, she had instilled in my mind that there is nothing worth fearing nor worrying about as long as you know you're right. We all listen to her in the house. Because her ideas are always sane. Except when she crack jokes (oh please... Ayen would definitely run away than to hear her jokes). But all in all, she is one of the strong pillars which made our family strong. She can connect to each one of us, uniting us together even up to these times we are far away. There are a lot of things I don't enjoy with my other siblings back then and instead of fighting, I just go into my room and write. But she never ran out of ideas on how we enjoy our times together. She will cook something out of scraps; she convinces us to watch horror movies (which was one of the most horrible memories I have yet, fun); she always makes sure something ordinary becomes a form of joyful activity (like sweeping the leaves in the yard including the highway) and she always tries her best to be with us ( no matter what the consequences may be, no matter how tires she may get, no matter how great the sacrifice she has to give). That's what she is.
Vulnerably delicate? Hmm... In most occasions, I've never seen her cry. I've never seen her breakdown or anything. When she is in tears, it's because she is really mad. Sometimes she is mad at me, I know. We fight. A lot. And I am the one who doesn't give in. She's older than me, she ought to give in, that was what I thought back then. Even when it's only eleven months, still she's older. But no matter how mad she gets, she always gives in. Maybe because she doesn't have a choice... or, she simply loves me ;). She doesn't keep grudges.. and I am glad that she is like that.. It made me see myself more clearly. It made me want to be kind with no reason but just the love to be kind. It always felt good. I've always wanted to be like her-strong and confident and kind. She always turns to the positive side of things. Somehow I think that long before she already understood that her tears and her fears won't do anything. Or maybe because she is the eldest she had made up her mind to be the one who is stronger. So while I cry, she was thinking of solutions. I could not count as to how many times she had saved me. Since I was young, I was shy and silent, I've got so many fears. I could not look at people because I am afraid ( I don't know why). I am only at peace when I am in my room, praying. And I'm only at ease when I am with her. At all times, she always thinks how to make things better for all of us especially for me. And slowly, without even meaning to, she taught me to be strong and to be at least 'human'. hehe Though, there were times she's weak. I know that. And those were the times she hid from me. Maybe she didn't want me to worry. But I've read her diary one time (accidentally, promise!) and on that page I felt how much she grieved every time she sees me in tears. And there was that phrase, "I wish I could do something to help her because it hurts me to see her cry." Then I cried again... but along with my tears, is a promise that I needed myself to be strong so that she won't be hurt. I made her vulnerable at that time. So, she is relatively vulnerably delicate (so she is like, half the meaning of it but still the opposite meaning of it..masabot, di?hehe)... She gets hurt when the ones she loves get hurt, well, that applies to all people- for no one in this entire universe could deeply hurt us and makes us vulnerable to pain except the ones we love.
She is the best big sister I've ever known. She might not have noticed it but she had imprinted something in my heart. Something impregnable. That no matter how long the time we were away and how far the distance between us, I could still feel her. Obviously, she doesn't lack significance at all. Not with me... and not with the people she had lived with and known. She always leave a print that is always, again, impregnable. Unsa ng impregnable? haha di ko magsaba. :D
And since her name doesn't truly describe her by what it meant, I made an acrostic for her. ( I searched for words and these are the best, (no not entirely because there were words I could not find in the dictionary) but these are closer to what she is for me... And I love her for all that she is and for all that she is gonna be... forever!
Freaky - Strange and somewhat frightening
Rare - Marked by an uncommon quality; especially superlative or extreme of its kind
Awesome - Inspiring awe, admiration or wonder
Gallant - Having or displaying great dignity or nobility
Illuminant - Something that can serve as a source of light
Lovable - (ehem) Having characteristics that attract love or affection
Endowed - Provided or supplied or equipped with (especially as by inheritance or nature)
And to top it all, here is my message to my ever precious big sister:
Dearest Ate Geegile,
As time flows, I find it harder to find the perfect words that would describe how much I care for you... much harder to find gifts that would make you smile, even more harder to make you feel my love when we are miles apart. Now all I have right now is a wish and a prayer that God may bless you more and grant your heart's desires as you take another step towards the fulfilment of our dreams. I know He listens and He cares and He loves us.
I will always be grateful to have an Ate like you. Thank you for the love you have shown... it is still with me and will always be with me until... eternity? yes, eternity... :) I will keep this forever...
We don't know what lies ahead, and yet I am sure that the love that is in me will keep me strong and will get me going to where I wanna be which I sincerely hope, is where also God wants me to be.
I love you so much... and I am looking forward for the day we will all be together again. Just like the old times...when we care less about the world and just have fun.
I wish you all the happiness in the world. I miss you so much, Te.
Happy happy birthday! (hehe maguwang na pod ka)
Lovelots,
Bakyeth
Seriously, my sister shouldn't had been named Fragile. Simply because she is the exact opposite of the meaning of the word. I know, Mama would agree (and everyone who knows her). But she was named so because Mama always see the word while she was pregnant with. That is why. But she isn't so fragile.
First, she is tough. One of the toughest person I've known (which made me realize she is more like my father). So, she isn't the one who's easily broken, damaged or destroyed. She has a strong personality, like a strong pillar we could lean on to. She always stood up for what she believes in. And yes, if she has to yell, she will. She will scream at the top of her lungs just so you could get her point. If she isn't happy, she tells it in your face. She isn't the one who hides her feelings because once that she tried, she exploded... and you never ever ever want to see her explode. She is always confident. When we were yet young, she was the one who knew already what she wanted. When it comes to dresses, bags or shoes, she knew what she liked. Though she never demanded for anything. She is definite in her opinions. I think she was the only one who could face Papa with valid and convincing reasons. When Papa gets mad, she was the only one who could face Papa's anger (while we all hide hehe). And I think it is a good thing. I mean, I think she is one of the greatest factor that made me face my fears. I mean, she had instilled in my mind that there is nothing worth fearing nor worrying about as long as you know you're right. We all listen to her in the house. Because her ideas are always sane. Except when she crack jokes (oh please... Ayen would definitely run away than to hear her jokes). But all in all, she is one of the strong pillars which made our family strong. She can connect to each one of us, uniting us together even up to these times we are far away. There are a lot of things I don't enjoy with my other siblings back then and instead of fighting, I just go into my room and write. But she never ran out of ideas on how we enjoy our times together. She will cook something out of scraps; she convinces us to watch horror movies (which was one of the most horrible memories I have yet, fun); she always makes sure something ordinary becomes a form of joyful activity (like sweeping the leaves in the yard including the highway) and she always tries her best to be with us ( no matter what the consequences may be, no matter how tires she may get, no matter how great the sacrifice she has to give). That's what she is.
Vulnerably delicate? Hmm... In most occasions, I've never seen her cry. I've never seen her breakdown or anything. When she is in tears, it's because she is really mad. Sometimes she is mad at me, I know. We fight. A lot. And I am the one who doesn't give in. She's older than me, she ought to give in, that was what I thought back then. Even when it's only eleven months, still she's older. But no matter how mad she gets, she always gives in. Maybe because she doesn't have a choice... or, she simply loves me ;). She doesn't keep grudges.. and I am glad that she is like that.. It made me see myself more clearly. It made me want to be kind with no reason but just the love to be kind. It always felt good. I've always wanted to be like her-strong and confident and kind. She always turns to the positive side of things. Somehow I think that long before she already understood that her tears and her fears won't do anything. Or maybe because she is the eldest she had made up her mind to be the one who is stronger. So while I cry, she was thinking of solutions. I could not count as to how many times she had saved me. Since I was young, I was shy and silent, I've got so many fears. I could not look at people because I am afraid ( I don't know why). I am only at peace when I am in my room, praying. And I'm only at ease when I am with her. At all times, she always thinks how to make things better for all of us especially for me. And slowly, without even meaning to, she taught me to be strong and to be at least 'human'. hehe Though, there were times she's weak. I know that. And those were the times she hid from me. Maybe she didn't want me to worry. But I've read her diary one time (accidentally, promise!) and on that page I felt how much she grieved every time she sees me in tears. And there was that phrase, "I wish I could do something to help her because it hurts me to see her cry." Then I cried again... but along with my tears, is a promise that I needed myself to be strong so that she won't be hurt. I made her vulnerable at that time. So, she is relatively vulnerably delicate (so she is like, half the meaning of it but still the opposite meaning of it..masabot, di?hehe)... She gets hurt when the ones she loves get hurt, well, that applies to all people- for no one in this entire universe could deeply hurt us and makes us vulnerable to pain except the ones we love.
She is the best big sister I've ever known. She might not have noticed it but she had imprinted something in my heart. Something impregnable. That no matter how long the time we were away and how far the distance between us, I could still feel her. Obviously, she doesn't lack significance at all. Not with me... and not with the people she had lived with and known. She always leave a print that is always, again, impregnable. Unsa ng impregnable? haha di ko magsaba. :D
And since her name doesn't truly describe her by what it meant, I made an acrostic for her. ( I searched for words and these are the best, (no not entirely because there were words I could not find in the dictionary) but these are closer to what she is for me... And I love her for all that she is and for all that she is gonna be... forever!
Freaky - Strange and somewhat frightening
Rare - Marked by an uncommon quality; especially superlative or extreme of its kind
Awesome - Inspiring awe, admiration or wonder
Gallant - Having or displaying great dignity or nobility
Illuminant - Something that can serve as a source of light
Lovable - (ehem) Having characteristics that attract love or affection
Endowed - Provided or supplied or equipped with (especially as by inheritance or nature)
And to top it all, here is my message to my ever precious big sister:
Dearest Ate Geegile,
As time flows, I find it harder to find the perfect words that would describe how much I care for you... much harder to find gifts that would make you smile, even more harder to make you feel my love when we are miles apart. Now all I have right now is a wish and a prayer that God may bless you more and grant your heart's desires as you take another step towards the fulfilment of our dreams. I know He listens and He cares and He loves us.
I will always be grateful to have an Ate like you. Thank you for the love you have shown... it is still with me and will always be with me until... eternity? yes, eternity... :) I will keep this forever...
We don't know what lies ahead, and yet I am sure that the love that is in me will keep me strong and will get me going to where I wanna be which I sincerely hope, is where also God wants me to be.
I love you so much... and I am looking forward for the day we will all be together again. Just like the old times...when we care less about the world and just have fun.
I wish you all the happiness in the world. I miss you so much, Te.
Happy happy birthday! (hehe maguwang na pod ka)
Lovelots,
Bakyeth
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