Unanswered Numbers

I just woke up from a dream. It left an uneasy feeling in my heart. I dreamt of an unanswered test paper. Have I slept during the exam? Were the questions difficult? I don't know. All I knew was I ran out of time. And I had no choice but to submit it. It was multiple choice and I just checked the options hoping I would stand a chance. 

As I looked at my paper, where I didn't have any sure answer, my heart was filled with reget. Why did I allow that to happen? How could I stay too long in one number not checking the other questions? I felt doomed. That's when I woke up. 

I guess I have stayed too long in one phase in life. I haven't been able to move forward. I felt stucked. I don't wanna be filled with regret when my life comes to an end. I know that there is more that I need to do. And yet, I just allow my days to go to waste. This pandemic held me down to the ground. Day by day it gets me buried deeper. I couldn't move. I have no will. I am not okay. I tried to be but I'm just not. 

And then I read this my post 10 years ago:

"Amidst life's struggles, amidst the pains, amidst the loneliness and brokenness, you can still find happiness. Happiness had always been in one corner of your heart. Don't fail to notice it because it is a gift. Strive to be happy." :)

I guess I have to strive hard to notice happiness. I had to because I want to survive.