in summary
I could not think of a word that could truly describe how I feel right now. It's been a while since I've written. Well, I've been writing but not blogging. I kinda missed this stuff. Yeah... I just realized now how much I missed this stuff.
My life has turned 360 degrees, and that's not an exaggeration. When I came home, there were adjustments I had to get through but they were minimal. That's like, 20 degrees or less, so to say. There were times I missed Norway, like I can't help but notice the yearning deep inside me. (That's a good thing though. Because realized how blessed I was, how God was gracious to me in a foreign land. Because most of the most wonderful things, best experiences, greatest lessons, happened there.) Being home doesn't make me miss home (being in Norway does) but it did make me feel grateful for each day that God has given.
For more than two months, I stayed home, doing nothing. That's like 180 degrees. well, not really nothing because I did some things which were worthwhile. Writing is one. But yeah... it is different when you have a job. Well, I knew it will be tough. Before I decided to go home, I knew that will happen. I didn't even have concrete plans so I knew that it will come a time that it will be difficult. But I never thought it could be that emotionally draining. Mama's sick and I have nothing more to offer to support her medication. That was really tough. But help always comes. For so many times, Glogie (my bestfriend) has saved us. And a lot of people do care and pray for us. Ate Joann and Ate Eper had always been our help too. Mama Josie's support is ceaseless and all Mama's sisters and brothers. So, still, I've got so much to be grateful for. Because God has never failed to help us. Some days just weren't perfect. But that's just the way life goes. The thing I was so grateful for was that at the times when things seem worst for us, I was there. I might not have helped that much, but I was there. And that was the thing I have been praying for since I was away from home. Now, I did pray that I would get a high paying job. And guess what, I was hired. And Glogie has helped me on that.
I really never thought I'd be a call center agent. Well, that was my first option before I went to Denmark. I told myself that I need not go abroad if I could have that job. But I failed to. So I went to Denmark. I was hopeful during the interview but not that expectant. I mean, I knew for certain that I am not so good with regards to verbal English. I can write though. I am confident with that. But speak? I am not so sure. But I did my best. And I prayed hard. Like really hard. And it was enough.
On the third week of October, training started. I met nice, good people. During the orientation I just realized that God has given me one of the best accounts there is. First few days were good. I had trouble sleeping though. I missed silence sooo much. As the days went on, the training went harder. I'm not so good with Math. And my English, I realized is poor. It had been a great struggle. There were times it felt like the way I felt before in college... I really wanted to quit. I could not understand anymore. I could not do it anymore. This isn't my line. This isn't the way I wanted. This is far from what I expected.
Life has not been easy. I should say, it turned 360 degrees this time. There were times it wore me out. People who know me would know my tolerance for weariness. And I could say it is high. But sometimes life itself takes the life out of me. Well, I really can't go through the details to that but that is certainly what happens at times I do not understand life anymore. It was a struggle. But when the going gets tough, there is really no other way to go but forward. There were times when hope seems to be gone... really gone. But giving up is never an option. There were times when I've cried so much and found out that tears can do nothing except make my eyes blur. So I had to wipe it out and be strong.
At this point of time, I am actually okay. Well, not A-Okay. But, okay. And that is actually...well, okay, right? I know I need to improve, in a lot of ways. And I am learning everyday. What I just pray is that I will never lose of things essential, the most important ones in life. I am doing things the best way I can. And every time I go to work I put it in my heart that I've got to give my best to help someone. Not just because I am paid for it but because it is what I love to do... I still feel nervous every time the phone rings. All throughout the shift actually. I know I will get used to it. And I know, it will bring out the best in me.
This is so far from the life I thought I'm gonna live. And people close to me know that. But I do believe that God has a reason for everything. So, yes, I'm gonna be here for as long as it takes... :) And be of help... right? Right!
May God bless us all.
My life has turned 360 degrees, and that's not an exaggeration. When I came home, there were adjustments I had to get through but they were minimal. That's like, 20 degrees or less, so to say. There were times I missed Norway, like I can't help but notice the yearning deep inside me. (That's a good thing though. Because realized how blessed I was, how God was gracious to me in a foreign land. Because most of the most wonderful things, best experiences, greatest lessons, happened there.) Being home doesn't make me miss home (being in Norway does) but it did make me feel grateful for each day that God has given.
For more than two months, I stayed home, doing nothing. That's like 180 degrees. well, not really nothing because I did some things which were worthwhile. Writing is one. But yeah... it is different when you have a job. Well, I knew it will be tough. Before I decided to go home, I knew that will happen. I didn't even have concrete plans so I knew that it will come a time that it will be difficult. But I never thought it could be that emotionally draining. Mama's sick and I have nothing more to offer to support her medication. That was really tough. But help always comes. For so many times, Glogie (my bestfriend) has saved us. And a lot of people do care and pray for us. Ate Joann and Ate Eper had always been our help too. Mama Josie's support is ceaseless and all Mama's sisters and brothers. So, still, I've got so much to be grateful for. Because God has never failed to help us. Some days just weren't perfect. But that's just the way life goes. The thing I was so grateful for was that at the times when things seem worst for us, I was there. I might not have helped that much, but I was there. And that was the thing I have been praying for since I was away from home. Now, I did pray that I would get a high paying job. And guess what, I was hired. And Glogie has helped me on that.
I really never thought I'd be a call center agent. Well, that was my first option before I went to Denmark. I told myself that I need not go abroad if I could have that job. But I failed to. So I went to Denmark. I was hopeful during the interview but not that expectant. I mean, I knew for certain that I am not so good with regards to verbal English. I can write though. I am confident with that. But speak? I am not so sure. But I did my best. And I prayed hard. Like really hard. And it was enough.
On the third week of October, training started. I met nice, good people. During the orientation I just realized that God has given me one of the best accounts there is. First few days were good. I had trouble sleeping though. I missed silence sooo much. As the days went on, the training went harder. I'm not so good with Math. And my English, I realized is poor. It had been a great struggle. There were times it felt like the way I felt before in college... I really wanted to quit. I could not understand anymore. I could not do it anymore. This isn't my line. This isn't the way I wanted. This is far from what I expected.
Life has not been easy. I should say, it turned 360 degrees this time. There were times it wore me out. People who know me would know my tolerance for weariness. And I could say it is high. But sometimes life itself takes the life out of me. Well, I really can't go through the details to that but that is certainly what happens at times I do not understand life anymore. It was a struggle. But when the going gets tough, there is really no other way to go but forward. There were times when hope seems to be gone... really gone. But giving up is never an option. There were times when I've cried so much and found out that tears can do nothing except make my eyes blur. So I had to wipe it out and be strong.
At this point of time, I am actually okay. Well, not A-Okay. But, okay. And that is actually...well, okay, right? I know I need to improve, in a lot of ways. And I am learning everyday. What I just pray is that I will never lose of things essential, the most important ones in life. I am doing things the best way I can. And every time I go to work I put it in my heart that I've got to give my best to help someone. Not just because I am paid for it but because it is what I love to do... I still feel nervous every time the phone rings. All throughout the shift actually. I know I will get used to it. And I know, it will bring out the best in me.
This is so far from the life I thought I'm gonna live. And people close to me know that. But I do believe that God has a reason for everything. So, yes, I'm gonna be here for as long as it takes... :) And be of help... right? Right!
May God bless us all.
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