i'm sorry :(
“I wonder when that time is when i could say sorry without feeling dreadful. I wish it could be as easy as i didn’t mean it. I hope it could just be like forget it.
But it’s just not… and it will never be easy as that. Saying sorry will always be as painful as it should be. And i have always known that.
I’ve hurt a lot of people. Most of it, those whom i loved and cared so much. I’ve spit out words almost impossible to bear and i always have reasons (i never ran out of it), reasons so absurd to hear just to justify myself why i did it, why i’ve said it, why i’ve written it. But it never left me feeling good about myself because no matter what reason that is, truth is—it will always be as simple and as plain as it is— I’ve hurt them.. and there’s no amount of reason that could justify what i have done.
Everytime it happens (and everytime i remember how wicked i am), i feel a gash of pain on my heart. And no matter how i regret, nothing would bring back the words spoken, nothing would bring back those tears cried, and most of all, there’s no way i can fix those broken hearts.
I know, there is no word that could make up for the lost times. There will always be regret. But little help it would do… I know i need to do something..or, i should’ve done something before.
I am sorry.
I guess, that’s it.
And that is taken from the deepest chamber of what’s left of my heart with the all-out support of my own not-so-much-in-good-shape soul—which actually means that i felt guilt, pain, regret, shame yet glad that i was able to accept that this weakest side of who i really am exists and i was able to let you know that it is a part of me i know i would never be proud of and i would always mourn for and i’d always pray you’d get to understand in time… i hope it gets to you… i hope you receive it.. i hope you could feel it even without watching me in tears and distressed. And though you would not forgive me, i would understand… it is the least thing that i could do to make up for those things i did.
This is my imperfection. The bad side of me. My own flaw. And i am so sorry of it… and i am so sorry for you who have to get a taste of it.
I didn’t mean it… much more, i didn’t mean to mean it. I never wanted to hurt anyone because it pains me so much that i couldn’t almost bear it. It would be the last thing i would want for those i love.
For all those hearts i’ve hurt, especially to those people i truly know i can never live without, and who are so dear to me, please forgive the human side of me..
There is no assurance that it will all be perfect for all of us. But one thing for sure that will truly matter is that whatever happens, come hell or high water, i have held you in my heart..
and forever, there you will stay…
But it’s just not… and it will never be easy as that. Saying sorry will always be as painful as it should be. And i have always known that.
I’ve hurt a lot of people. Most of it, those whom i loved and cared so much. I’ve spit out words almost impossible to bear and i always have reasons (i never ran out of it), reasons so absurd to hear just to justify myself why i did it, why i’ve said it, why i’ve written it. But it never left me feeling good about myself because no matter what reason that is, truth is—it will always be as simple and as plain as it is— I’ve hurt them.. and there’s no amount of reason that could justify what i have done.
Everytime it happens (and everytime i remember how wicked i am), i feel a gash of pain on my heart. And no matter how i regret, nothing would bring back the words spoken, nothing would bring back those tears cried, and most of all, there’s no way i can fix those broken hearts.
I know, there is no word that could make up for the lost times. There will always be regret. But little help it would do… I know i need to do something..or, i should’ve done something before.
I am sorry.
I guess, that’s it.
And that is taken from the deepest chamber of what’s left of my heart with the all-out support of my own not-so-much-in-good-shape soul—which actually means that i felt guilt, pain, regret, shame yet glad that i was able to accept that this weakest side of who i really am exists and i was able to let you know that it is a part of me i know i would never be proud of and i would always mourn for and i’d always pray you’d get to understand in time… i hope it gets to you… i hope you receive it.. i hope you could feel it even without watching me in tears and distressed. And though you would not forgive me, i would understand… it is the least thing that i could do to make up for those things i did.
This is my imperfection. The bad side of me. My own flaw. And i am so sorry of it… and i am so sorry for you who have to get a taste of it.
I didn’t mean it… much more, i didn’t mean to mean it. I never wanted to hurt anyone because it pains me so much that i couldn’t almost bear it. It would be the last thing i would want for those i love.
For all those hearts i’ve hurt, especially to those people i truly know i can never live without, and who are so dear to me, please forgive the human side of me..
There is no assurance that it will all be perfect for all of us. But one thing for sure that will truly matter is that whatever happens, come hell or high water, i have held you in my heart..
and forever, there you will stay…
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